Well, I'm doing somewhat better at keeping this thing updated! Is anyone reading it???? I'm sure I lost a ton of you when I go for months without posting, but look on the bright side~this is three times this month already!
I'm sure you are wondering at the title of this entry. Let me explain for you...
You see, on May 15th, I had surgery. I came home late on the 16th to a nice quiet house with no children occupying it. That same house was still quiet the next day as the older 4 went on their way to school, and Eryn spent one last day with Auntie Autumn. It was a glorious day, not too hot, not too cold. I got to sleep in until I wanted to get up, no one was begging for this or that. I ventured into the shower to take a nice relaxing shower with no time frames attatched. As I was lingering, I heard something or someone messing around in the laundry room. Being the "courageous" person I am, I shout out the door, "Who's here? Hello? Anyone?" After no answer, I decide it's safe to venture out into the rest of the house. I got myself dressed and all situated in the easy chair, and I heard it again, only this time it was in the kitchen. All right, enough was enough already so I yelled figuring it was one of the cats, "You have exactly 10 seconds to get off the counter and out of the kitchen!" To my dismay, it listened. The problem you ask? It wasn't an intruder of the human kind or a cat or the dog. It was a little black (Somalian) squirrel and it was coming straight towards my chair. Now imagine just having a hysterectomy and having a squirrel coming towards your resting spot! Not a pretty picture! I lept upwards from that chair like there was no tomorrow and scattered into my bedroom as fast as I could. After I was safely tucked away in my four walls, I realized that there was no one else home to attack the squirrel. I went very carefully back into the living room where I darted to the front door and frantically called the dog into the house. He sauntered in the door, and I explained to him that he was the predator and the prey was in the house. His job was to be the mighty, fierce, hunter dog and catch that squirrel. "Any questions Chester? No? Good, get that squirrel!"
After returning to my safe haven, I began to wonder what possesed me to bring a lab into the mix. You see, he likes to chase squirrels, but the thought of harming the cute little creature was more than he could bear. After succeeding in pushing the entertainment center out, unplugging every possible cable, plug, etc from the wall and units, moving my couch to the middle of the room from the wall, and knocking my piano into what sounded like smitherines he had finally cornered the beast behind the piano. It was clinging to the back just out of reach of Chester and my broom stick. And let me tell you, this witch was more than riding her broom stick at this point in the game. After about 10 seconds of debating: "Do I leave the creature and dog in this position, or do I move the piano away from the wall and let the dog chase the squirrel out the open door?" I decided to go with the second option even though it went against the rules of lifting, twisting, over exerting, and so forth. The squirrel moved from that position and very tactfully ran straight for my foot. Being the sprie young woman that I am (laughing hysterically at this) I leaped up onto the couch. A great plan until the squirrel tried to follow me. I took my broom and swung as hard as I could sending the squirrel into a head over heels tumble into the entertainment center (the surplus of narcotics running through my system at this point had my sense of aim a little of kilter). Of course I'm yelling at the dog to pin the target, and what does he do? He takes his paw and flings it into the air! Arghhhh, all that did was put air back into the varmit's lungs and sent him under the entertainment center! So dog behind and me in front, we worked at getting that thing out from under there for 10 minutes. We finally succeeded at that, and Chester had him in his mouth, so I told him to go outside with the varmit. What does he do? He drops the squirrel on the floor in the entry way and goes outside. What does a woman do at this point?
I yelled at him to come back into the house and remember that he was the predator here and he needs to catch his prey! He cornered the thing in the bathroom and looked at me like, "Okay Mom, I got him. What are you gonna do with him?" We continued to exchange words(me) and blank looks(him) for a little while before he got bored and got up~releasing his prisoner~and sauntered back outside. At this point I was so mad and frustrated that I was ready to give up except that the little varmit made a second run at my feet. Fortunately, this time I was closer to the target(and the narcotics had a half hour to wear off at this time too) and sent the squirrel in a tail spin out the door.
I went back to the living room, and just started sobbing. You see, the three of us had succeeded in completely ramsacking the house. There were books, movies, piano music, clean clothes, toys, everything that had been in the living room was completely strewn around as though a f5 twister had just invaded that one room. I forced myself to move the piano back as well as the couch, and then collapsed into the resting chair and sobbed harder. I was in so much pain I couldn't even move to find more narcotics to knock me out for the rest of the day. My poor mom came over after work to check on me and walked into a complete disaster.
I am so thankful for the Mom that God gave me. She came in and just started picking things up, sorted the laundry, and gave the children directions. Within an hour they had the house in order and one would have never guessed what a dog, squirrel, and cripple had done to the house!
That's what I've been up to!!! Hope you enjoyed the story more than I did! That's my tale of the Somalian squirrel.
